


A Home Which Torture Us

by VisibleClosedEyes



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Betrayal, Caesar's Legion, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lesbian Sex, Misogyny, Multi, NCR | New California Republic, No Lesbians Die, legion born courier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27302083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisibleClosedEyes/pseuds/VisibleClosedEyes
Summary: Elise was born in the legion in one of the most highly respected classes possible-as a daughter of Mars--of Caesar, but she hates it to the core of her being and now she's trying to escape to the opposite of the life that she has-- to the NCR
Relationships: Female Courier/Original Female Character(s), Rose of Sharon Cassidy/Original Female Character, Vulpes Inculta/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

In the mid-day of the summer, Elise remembered wearing her white dress and had her hair in a messy ponytail—she was playing in the heat in an endless field of Arizona. Not far away from here was her home and her father was a strict man so she would have to leave as soon as the sunset. The other kids did not seem to mind and she spent her entire day there.  
They ran in the dry, dusty bowl of land and the light was casting down on their head-- punishing them, burning them. Her lungs are burning using dust and air as fuel to keep her body going. She cannot remember what they were playing exactly-- could be a race and she was falling behind, nevertheless, it was a blast.  
This was the day she learned what makes her different from the other kids. By the time of seeing approaching evening, two men tasked with taking care of her walked up to her and the other kids playing. They dress like they always do—around the field which is her small garden, around the house-made out of very thick cloth, and around the ground, her father rules, and they fight. 

Of course, she didn't think like this when she was six but she learned the dynamic.

“Come, your father is expecting you by 6, evening, ” a man with brown eyes and red makeshift armor lowered himself to talk to me, which was gentle but looked at the other kid with an empty, cold gaze.

She looked back at her new friends and struck surprised by fearful looks from them—they distanced themselves from her like she was some kind of ghoul. That was the first time she learned of the world and hierarchy, and she was somewhat at the top. The next day she came out to play, there was no one dared to look at her.

After that, she mostly stuck in the legion territory, in the place her father and their other high-ranking legion individuals were in which was Arizona. It was a weird life she had, she saw women walking freely outside but also many she met had no freedom. She was neither of these women because she is the daughter of the Caesar of the legion—he told her that, whether it means good or bad was beyond her child's brain at that time.  
Sometimes after her 11th birthday, her father gave her a friend—a young boy her age or a little bit older from the tribe of Utah, his real name was once known but now everyone knows him as ‘Vulpes Inculta’. But before he got named and reborn as a fearsome warrior, he simply is a boy who helped her brush her hair in the morning from time to time and played with her in the field every day.

“ Did I hurt you?” the boy asked her as he seems to struggle to brush her hair  
“ Yes, but it was tangled so it can't be helped, ” she simply answered. After the haircare routine was done, she would have the boy accompanied her. That was how the dynamic played out in the first couple of months—master and servant. After all, he belongs to Caesar. Yet, they became legit friends. She remembered running with him, getting herself dirty and things that they shared, it would be an understatement to say that he was just her servant boy tasked with entertaining her.  
One of her most fond moments with him is when they were playing in her garden ( or what the mockery of it,). They tried to make flower crowns—and him, in particular, failed miserably while she nailed it ( even with the flowers being half-dead!) 

“ You made it, then you should get to keep it, ” he whispered, lowering his voice to avoid sounds too loud and annoyed the high-rank legionnaire—even if he was tightly close to the daughter of Caesar, he still could be killed from being too annoying just like any slaves.  
“ I’m much better than you in this, ’cause you will never make some good one so just keep it, ” she probably said this back to him—she can’t truly remember but she memorized both of them laughing about it afterward.

Those moments only last a couple of years, however. At the very first, he was just a slave boy who Caesar chose to be his daughter's playmate for only the length of her childhood before entering womanhood—he supposes to be thrown away but we all know that was not how it went, quite the opposite. Caesar seems to be impressed by his intelligence and strength—with good training, Caesar could see the boy become the best of all warriors he had. So he got the boy to it but that means Elise would no longer be able to talk to him like she used to anymore. He survived the training and got his new name ‘Vulpes Inculta’  
For Elise, life rendered massively deviated from what Vulpes had to go through. First, she is a woman—a high-status woman of the legion, so fighting for life was not something she was familiar with at all. Most of the time she can not leave, semi-imprisoned in the legion. Elise started to realize the lack of freedom around when she was 17 years old and she saw a woman in a uniform on the opposite side of the Colorado river and—

“ My lady, Lord Caesar expected you in his residential tent,” a voice of a man familiar to her came from behind, completely interrupting her train of thoughts. The man is a regular legionnaire, and he has brown eyes with short hair of the same chestnut color. The name is Quintis and he, as Vulpes used to, has to keep his eyes on what I do  
“Now?”  
“ Sorry Eli, it’s your dad's order,” Quintis whispered back to me, trying his hardest to conceal his casual attitude towards me from the other legionnaires that might be eavesdropping on their conversation the whole time.  
“ Fine,” Elise sighs. She knows the answer to her incredibly stupid question already, and that’s why Quintis is looking at her like she’s a complete idiot.  
“ Tell him I’ll be there in a minute,” He leaves not before mockingly paying ‘respect’ —an absolutely normal antic a friend would do to a friend but unbelievably daredevil things a legionnaire could do; if he got caught, he would be off with his head. 

Elise quickly brushes her hair so that it looks more presentable to her father and the Centurions—yeah, she does not know for sure if they will be there but she gets some of that gut feeling and she would rather not embarrass herself. After looking at herself for the last time in the dusty mirror, she collects herself then exits her tent.  
Outside her tent, the atmosphere is completely alien from what’s going on in her place. Here, outside, is the legion or—to be completely accurate, Legion’s war camp territory—filled with men and war efforts. Women are not treated well—well, they are enslaved then either sent to hard labor works or, even worse, be breeding machines for the Legionnaires. Despite all that, Elise was, is, and will always be treated like a lost, ancient pre-war relic because of Caesar's blood that circulated in her body. Their desire towards her is different from how they fancy the slaves girls they caught from the NCR who happened to catch their eyes sexually, the legions men see her as the idea of a perfect wife that worth to be cherished and not just fucked. Whatever the case is, she feels grateful that she wasn’t raped. 

“Elise,” standing before her—taller than any man—is Legate Lanius. He is one of a few legionnaires (if not the only,) who only bother to respect me at the bare minimum, probably because he knows he can get away with it.  
“Legate, ” she simply replies with an equal amount of respect according to what he has been given to her for the longest time.  
“ What are you doing here? ” he speaks through the mask resulting in a hoarse and suppressed voice—like a record from a radio.  
“ Caesar, my father, is seeking for me. What? Is it too hard for you to believe?” She talks back and stares intensely into the darkening eye sockets of his mask—she can't see his face but she can feel it all; the resentment and desire to crush me into a pink pulp. It's so extreme that these days she kind of has no idea what possibly could be the source of that.  
“You are lucky he is here, without him? You will be nothing but a bloody mess.” with that he departs and leaves me confused with the interaction. Elise is not surprised or scared, she has been dealing with this for 3 years now.

It surprised her a little why her father called her in such a hasty manner but she is even more surprised that she gets to participate in a meeting among him, centurions, and the legate.  
They speak of strategic advance against the NCR—the information which was given by the legion sympathizer intelligence, many of which are women (shocking, I know.). As time goes on, Elise just sits there not saying anything because she can't—and tries her best to not accidentally gazes at the legate who sits next to her. On the opposite side of her, Vulpes studies and reports some new info to her father. Occasionally, Vulpes will catch her eyes watching then he will focus on the task at hand. The rest of the high-ranking individuals are not important—she knows very little about them.  
When everything seems to conclude, everyone adjusts themselves and prepares to set off to whatever businesses they left behind to meet with Caesar. But my father stops their retreat, he orders all of to stay in the tent then he looks at me with a rather serious face  
“Elise, do you like any of them?”  
“ Pardon?”  
“ You heard me clearly, you will get married before we take the Hoover Dam,” Her father says it with a deadpan face, cold and unconcerned as if her life plan is just a trivial strategy that he has to adopt but beyond that bears so significance in his mind.  
“You never talk to me about this,” Elise objects in a low voice with a tone as respectful as she can.  
“ Well, now you know. If you are not going to choose anymore then I’m going to do that myself,” this time he says it in a low, warning voice. Elise is arguing with not her father but with Caesar—among a round table of the legate and centurions. Not a good idea.  
“ You are all dismissed. Elise… not you, come talk to me,”

She goes quiet and complies but once everybody is gone—Elise goes all in overtime her father.  
“ You can’t do that to me!” she quietly screams at her father as soon as there are no souls beyond her and Caesar.  
“ I can and I'm doing it right now. You are going to marry Lanius, no more of this quarrel”  
“ Lanius?! You know damn well how he thinks of me and how he would treat me!” Elise screams trying to get her father's attention as he just casually picks up a book that he still can’t find the proper time to finish. Caesar huffs and starts reading calmly like a stormless sea while Elise is beside him going off like a maelstrom of lighting and wildfire--they exist beside each other like thesis and antithesis.  
When Elise seems to calm down a little and stops wailing at his face Caesar quickly speaks up, preventing her from continuing. 

“ Who did what to you and how is not what is important, Elise. What’s vital is your role and attribution in the legion,” he says casually, and dismisses her cries of resistance in such a way that Elise feels so alienated and shocked that her mind just simply watches the whole thing from somewhere else -- like from the ceiling or from the ground.  
Elise wants to scream and scratch her father's face until it falls off like a patch of pre-war paint that is falling off from the war. Then watch him bleed and die and head to her own execution, or she survives with a scar so ugly that he resorts to wearing a mask and the-- yes, head to her own execution. But she just stands there, being talked to and talked down at. It’s not like it’s a new thing that happens to her, Lanius has been treating her like this ( actually way worse than this) since she started to become a woman. Have her own dad doing that hit differently, however.  
The woman can’t remember getting the hell out of the tent. Her brain partially shuts down and the only thing that she remembers is the voice of some random legionnaire calling her from behind. Elise needs to be alone, she’s dying to be alone. Her stomach twisted into a knot of anger and disgust and fear, she throws herself on her bed and tries to contain herself from the outburst. But it was too much, her anger is still here and no amount of words in the back of her can help her with that. Teeth, white like a bone and orderly beyond any wastelanders or even men of the legion, bite into her pillow as she screams a noiseless painful cry into it. It does hurt her teeth a little but physical pain is irrelevant compared to what she is feeling right at this moment.


	2. Chapter 2

She doesn’t know much about the outside world or what the profligates are up to because the legion has a really strict rule on women’s education. Yet, he hates the idea of ignorant highborn women, especially the one that is his direct scion, so he slips in something into her head here and there. Ultimately, she’s not acknowledged but she’s know something

Her father told her about the veteran NCR rangers, a stellar death squat of the NCR, and a black jewel of the Mojave desert-- an executioner from afar. Suppose she isn’t a legion woman, Elise would have thought that Caesar admired the NCR but she’s of her father and she knows well. 

The NCR, as her father and the others implied, was a disgrace. Their fighting style depends on being far from their enemies as much as possible and good guns-- nothing more than that. She agreed with him. They are cowardly through and through, right? Naturally, soldiers are meant to fight with dignity, flesh, and blood-- and the fact that they don’t put their women into a better place for a better place shows their lack of understanding of the truth of the world...right? Elise should be disgusted by the NCR for what they are and what they are standing for, yet she finds herself sneaking into storage containing countless reports on the NCR by the legion spies. In her head, she admits quietly as the wind of the night blows softly while she’s looking at the milky glowing moon outside of her tent that the NCR intrigues her and that they sound… amazing?

When her curiosity can no longer be satisfied by information on paper, she resorts to a method that could earn her a place on a cross or get thrown into a canyon. She, at night, will sneak a very small tent that was used for the imprisonment of one single woman. A terrifying, hardened woman, and the only veteran ranger captive that was caught alive. Pretty much like Stella woman, an NCR ranger, who was used as a fighting hound in the arena but this woman in question is a whole different story. She was a veteran NCR ranger.

The first time Elise breaks in to talk to the woman was surreal 

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your father?” She asks as soon as she sees Elise despite the younger girl trying her best to be stealthy 

“Yes, but I have some questions that you have to answer,” Elise, do not let the intimidating manner of the captured woman get to her, sit in front of her, and whisper her answer back.

The woman doesn’t have any visible scars on her face like how hardened warriors would but there are pain, cynicism, and anger in her black eyes--which is warranted considered she was captured

“ I have to? Or do you need the answer?” She says it with sarcasm and sadistic satisfaction once she seems to figure the legion woman out, her eyes lit up a bit and her lips form a smirk. 

“I don’t appreciate that tone of voice since you are the one who drags me here and put me in a box,” 

“What? I’m not the one who captured you! The legion men did!” Elise protests in confusion. What is this woman on about? Her statement is absurd, how can Elise participate in this woman's demise when she can’t even leave the camp-- de facto, speaking. 

“Yeah, your father, men of your father. What’s the difference?” The dark-eyed woman speaks in a low threatening voice. She is a chained down Nightstalker basically and Elise is currently putting her head between the jaws. And what she says… is not completely illogical to conclude that Elise has a fair share of guilt with slavers society because she is thriving in it. Yet, it makes her frustrated because she is sure as hell didn’t choose to be born in this life. It’s not fair for her either. 

“ I’m… sorry,”

“If you want me to help with whatever plagues your mind, how about helping me first then?” anger seems to temporarily escape from the dark-eyed of this woman. Now, she seems a little playful even with a hint of… malicious intention? Whatever.

“ What do you need done?”

“ Well, thanks to how kind your men are to me, I have several physical trauma and it hurts like hell. Look, find me stimpaks and med-x then we’ll talk,” the older woman says it casually like she’s asking for some water, rations, or healing powder but Elise is completely expressing the opposite, she’s stunned 

“ Are you insane?! You want me to smuggle in confiscated chems?! I will get caught doing that!” 

“ Ain’t coming here putting yourself on a cross already? Also, keep yelling—I’m sure that would help,” The woman remains Elise that what she's doing is execute-worthy

She wants to know. Knows more about the NCR, about the Mojave. Hell, even about California. Elise feels defeated and finally gives in.

“ Fine. Keep your promise, or I will find a way to lash you on the cross,”

“ Just don’t die and we’ll talk,”

——————

Elise exits the tent and goes straight to her sector with the utmost caution. It is 12 minutes past midnight when she reaches her place. Fuck, she thinks, hope no one sees her outside this late.

But just outside her tent, a legionnaire recruit leaning against the junk wall of that make up the fortress itself-- he crooks his head as he catches Elise entering her sector.  
——————

Morning comes faster than a raider on psycho and Elise gets less sleep than she likes but the conversation that she has with that woman left her nervous or rather her proposal made Elise nervous. 

But she’s going to do it. Yeah, this is a bad idea that she could see go horribly wrong. 

Elise leaves her quarter as soon as the legionnaires start their activities of the day. Yes, she plans to sneak in a confiscated goods storage at the middle of the day when everyone is up and about. Truth is, this is the best time possible to do this because the men create so much noise during the day—nobody would even know she’s running some shady shit behind their back unless she’s gone for hours, of course 

There will be a guard at the storage but there is almost a guardless time window that lasts between 12-15 minutes when they change guard and lunch. Not a bad situation but regardless of how convenient it may sound, she has to pursue this plan with caution. 

But before she could do anything, someone pulled her aside. It is Vulpes Inculta.

“Vulpes,”  
“ Daughter of Mars, greeting,” Elise cannot decide if she hates the title. She thinks it is a little too fancy but at the same time can’t deny that it makes her feel powerful.

“ I hope you have a good night's sleep, amicus. Wandering around late at night would not be good for you or your health,”

Fuck. 

“I’m fine Vulpes, how kind of you ,”  
“Good to hear. So, amicus, what were you doing out there at the middle of the night,” Vulpes, wasting no time , start pressing Elise's answer for her unexplained behavior. Many times… Elise just hates Vulpes. 

“ Sudden insomnia, tell father I’m thoroughly fine,”   
“ This is not from him, this is between you and me,” she is surprised by that a lot, Elise didn’t hear him saying things like this since he was 11—well, after he became a warrior for the legion. The woman masks her surprise with indifference, however. This could as well be his way to manipulate her to fuck herself over. 

“ I appreciate your concern, but there’s not much to say that I wandered around last night hoping that the insomnia would go away,” Elise answers back dismissively and tries to keep her cool. Act unbothered and confidence so that the fox believes she did nothing incriminatory. Vulpes looks into her eyes with some lingering suspicion but then looks the other way after he seems to conclude that she’s innocent.

“ I see, apologize for the questions. Have a good day, Elise.”

—————————

That encounter really was something else and now it made her twice as paranoid whenever she does anything. Even things that she’s normal do like reading outside her tent.

Elise has a book in her hand and been pretending to read for a straight hour now. What she's really paying attention to is the guard, she can’t see him from here but when he leaves his spot, she will. 

And not long after that, Elise sees silhouette of a legionnaires walking out of the storage’s vicinity

Yes, this is it. This is the time.

——————

A legionnaires recruit catches Elise silently leaving the area, and he once again crooks his head in curiosity.


End file.
